“An online co-op horror experience for up to 4 players. Use your elastic arms to grab valuable loot for your captain. But be careful, danger lurks around every corner trying to take your booty!” – Steam Description

Every couple months another studio looks at R.E.P.O., squints, and goes “yeah but what if it was __”. This time it was pirates, and who doesn’t love a good treasure hunt? Last Pirates: Die Together hands you up to three friends, a cursed island, and a pair of arms that stretch like they’ve been left in the microwave too long. Sneak inside, steal anything that isn’t nailed down, and try to get back to the boat before something with too many teeth notices you. You won’t all make it back alive, and that’s okay.

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Stretchy Business

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You’ve got two arms and both of them are lying to you about how far they can reach. You’ll reach around a corner to pick up a slab of meat, misjudge it completely, and grab your own crewmate’s booty, shoving them into a ghost shark that absolutely wants to eat you. The arms turn every action into a joke. You’re not sneaking around so much as flailing with intent, and dragging a giant cannon across a room like you’ve never touched a gym in your life. It doesn’t matter that the cannon is bigger than you, or that it just clipped through the stairs and has become one with the void. You’ve got a Kraken to please. Physics be damned.

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Half-Assed Revivals (Literally)

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If a crewmate goes down, you don’t just revive them: you find their bottom half and reattach it, which is absolutely as ridiculous as it sounds. Nothing quite says “found family” like dragging your best friend’s torso through a haunted mansion because her legs got launched across the map. The only problem is that hauling half a person around apparently takes it out of you, because after a few seconds your stamina bar taps out and you just… pass out. Fall over like you just got shot. Your stamina refills fairly quickly, but you can imagine how funny it is to pass out 10 times in a row just trying to move a body a couple of feet across the room.

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Do’s and Don’ts

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Do communicate with your crew, because half of this game is yelling “IT’S BEHIND YOU” while the other person is too busy (poorly) playing the piano in the corner. Don’t go full loot goblin on your first run. The quota can wait, your kneecaps cannot, and there IS a limit to how many times your booty can be reattached before you die for good. Do spend your gold on the card table between runs instead of hoarding it. Health, stamina, and weapon upgrades are there for a reason, and you will absolutely want to get some more muscular legs for the inevitable sprint across the map. Don’t buy the eye patch cosmetic for yourself, convince a friend to try it out instead.

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• Graphics– Overall the graphics are cartoon-y without being overly silly. Everything makes sense visually and the monster designs are simple but still convey enough “yikes” to get the point across. Up close, some of the environment still have the early-access look to them, and there’s just enough visual repetition between rooms that you start recognizing the same chair three rounds in, but nothing that ruins the vibe of the game.
• Gameplay– The core gameplay loop is pretty easy to understand, especially if you’ve ever played Lethal Company or R.E.P.O. It is absolutely meant to be played with a group of friends! There are plenty of opportunities for stupid decisions and funny disasters.
• Sound– The sound does its job well enough, particularly when you’re exploring alone and suddenly realize “why did the music just change??”.
• Controls– The controls are very straightforward and don’t take long to figure out. Most of the learning comes from getting used to how your arms interact with everything around you, and trying not to pass out from draining your stamina. Bonus points for having multiple emote options!
• Story– I wasn’t able to decipher any huge storyline, or lore. The game is sorted into chapter based progression, which initially made me think the different chapters would have some sort of story or connection between them, but that isn’t the case. The chapters generally felt extremely similar to each other.